Delivery story 89 Anonymous writes: First off I just want to say that I just found this page and it is the coolest funniest thing I've ever seen. I work at the big D somewhere in Indianapolis, IN. When you hear of Indianapolis, you might think Indy 500, Pacers, Colts, Cornfields, Baby Face -- NOT WHERE I WORK. I work in the GHETTO of Indianapolis which, believe it or not, most of Indy actually is. And there are two colleges in our delivery area, so it's like a little Oasis in the Desert of ghetto. Here are two stories. Sometime in December 2003, I took an order to a lady in the hood. I knocked on her front door and she came stumbling to the window and told me to go to her back door. She tripped over her couch and pulled down the blinds, so I went to the back door and she opened it. I told her it's $10.69. Apparently my general manager hooked her up with some kind of deal because there were four large pizzas. I gave her the pizza to set down, she opened the box, grabbed a slice, ran to her living room and called my cousin (the GM) on the phone. I wondered what the hell was going on. A bedroom or bathroom door opens and this girl came out and she said "Hi" and she was HOT. The girl walked back into the room. About three minutes later, the girl came back out naked, completely naked. She was built like a brick house. Her Mom started to yell at her, telling her to get some clothes on, and the pizza man didn't want to see all of that -- the Mom lied; the pizza man loved that. The Mom handed me the phone and I talked to my cousin (the GM) and he was cracking up and said, "What the hell is going on over there?" I said, "Hey man. She still hasn't given me the money and I've been here for about 15 minutes, dude." He said, "Okay, well, give the phone back to her and I'll work this out." A few minutes later the lady was finally off the phone, her daughter was out of the bedroom and wearing a robe, so everything was cool for the most part until I said, "Hey. I have other deliveries. I really need to get going and I need my money." The Mom replied, "No. We're going to f### you." As I gasped for air I said, "Woah. I have a girlfriend." The Mom and daughter were actually both very attractive, but if you're going to screw the pizza guy for a pizza, the word "WHORE" just kinda pops into your mind along with GONA-MONA-HERPE-SYPHIL-AIDS. I told them I needed all the money for the pizza. They gave me a bag of nickels and pennies. I told them sorry but I wasn't about what they were trying to pull on me, but maybe next time I could see some titties, which they both flashed at me. Then I said, "Well, maybe next time," and left. This next story happened last night. My cousin (the GM) took an order over the phone and once again the order was in the ghetto. The guys didn't know their own address. They wanted to order 9 pizzas five minutes before close. The GM told them we weren't going to take the order unless they paid over the phone by credit card. Kyle was okay with it and thought it was legit. He asked me if I wanted to deliver or stay and clean the store, so I decided to stay at the store. About 30 minutes later, I got a phone call. Kyle was robbed. I guess he pulled up and there were two guys peering out of the house window. They turned off the porch light as Kyle walked up. Both guys stuck a revolver in his face and said, "Give me the s###." Kyle said, "Hey, you can have the pizza and the heatwave bag," and they said, "No. The money, too, b####." They told him that if he called the police they were going to kill him. Then they went back inside the house. Kyle called the police. When the police came, they told Kyle they were watching the house. About 20 minutes later, IPD called back and said, "Apparently, these two guys broke into a house that someone was moving out of, used their phone to place the order, robbed you, and left." As far as I know that was it. No one will ever get caught because IPD sucks. return to top