Delivery story 326 Papa Doc writes: I worked for Domino’s for a few years in a small town not far from Lafayette, Louisiana. Now it’s a sad but true fact of life that blacks are notoriously poor tippers who frequently complain about their pizza being bad in order to get a free one. (Of course they always say that they had thrown the bad one away or fed it to the dog.) This delivery took place just after Hurricane Lili, and while we in town had our power restored, some of the more rural areas were still out. Business was booming with so many wanting a hot meal, but the wait time was much longer than usual. One delivery was over two hours late, so the manager comped the meal. Bad move, because the next time this family ordered, they carefully timed the delivery, and I was greeted with “You’re late!” I explained that this wasn’t the Teenage Mutant Turtles, and that delivery times were approximate, not guaranteed. This was apparently too many long words to absorb at once so they tried again: “You’re late!” I said again that we didn’t guarantee delivery times. Then they tried to guilt me into free food by saying, “The other guy did it.” Now, I *was* the other guy, so this didn’t fly either; I explained that the wait time last time was over two hours, not four minutes and I had the manager’s permission, so did they want the pizza or not? They grumpily took the pizza. No tip, of course. A few short memories: 1. Idiots who see you with a hot bag and bellow, “Hey, where’s my free pizza?” like I hadn’t heard that one a zillion times before. Wonder how they’d like it if their sister walked by and I shouted, “Hey, where’s my free blow job?” 2. The customer who worked in a casino and told me just to go in, she’d watch for me. In other words, she expected me to wander around a large place I’d never been in, to find a person I’d never met. I told her to meet me at the entrance, as my religious convictions prevented me from entering an establishment that allowed gambling. Next time she ordered, she specifically asked for a different driver. 3. A local Holiday Inn that allowed the desk clerks a free, one topping pizza per day for recommending our store. Their one free pizza grew into a combination pizza, hot wings, cheesy bread and a two liter soda, all for free. When I mentioned to them that even free food deserved a tip, they called and complained. I was forbidden to make any more deliveries to them - talk punishing me with a reward! 4. The woman who collected money from her family / visitors to share the cost for a pizza that she was getting for free. She said in a loud voice that she had the money, then stepped outside, ripped the price ticket off, gave the driver a couple bucks, and pocketed the rest of the money. How cheap can you get, ripping off your own family and friends. 5. Favors from a previous delivery that become an obligation forever. One delivery to The Projects (or in our parlance, the No Tip Zone) the customer demanded, “Where da gaw-lik budda?” I explained that pizza didn’t come with garlic butter. “Da udder guy bring it!” I’d sure like to meet this mysterious, saintly ‘other guy’ who carries change for hundred dollar bills, picks up beer and cigarettes for you, and gives away free food. Heard about him, never met him. 6. The snotty twelve twelve year old who told me, “You’re big and fat!” This was in front of her father, yet. Thank you, honey. How’d you want me to walk up to you and say, “You’re ugly and stupid.” 7. And finally, the delivery to the low income housing area where a seven-year-old gave me a great big hug. She was so happy I’d brought her their pizza. return to top