Delivery story 219 Big J writes: I used to deliver for Round Table in Fresno, CA. Now, Round Table is one of the more expensive chains in the area so the clientèle is usually a little on the higher-income level. But my store covered such a ridiculously large part of town that we pretty much got all kinds. I had the typical stories, being invited in by a male customer in a known gay part of town (I'm a straight guy)... that sort of thing. But the best were always the drunks. One night, I was closing, and it was the last delivery of the night. I took an order for about $23 to an apartment complex. When the guy answered the door, he was obviously completely shitfaced. His buddy was laying face down on the floor behind him, presumably passed out. I told him the total, and he handed me a $20. I told him it wasn't enough, that his total was 23 something, and he said he didn't have enough. He then tried to pay with a check, but I noticed the slip said not to take checks from him, as he was on our "list." Defeated, he said, well I guess I'm gonna have to cancel the order, and closed the door. I'd tried to hand him back the 20 he gave me a couple times, and he was doing something else, not paying attention. I knocked on the door, and he peeked through the window at me. I told him, I have your 20. He told me to keep it, and "if he can't have any pizza it won't do him any good." There was a woman who ordered at least three times a week. Older, probably late 60s, lived in an old neighborhood where the road BADLY needed repaving, so it was hell on your car. She had an external gate on her yard with a bell, that she requested you ring. Problem is, she couldn't hear the bell over her yapping dog, which apparently did nothing to alert her that maybe someone was at the @*&%ing gate. Many many times drivers would come back with her pizza saying she didn't answer, and she'd call and swear they didn't ring the bell. The store always sucked up to her because she bought so often, which pissed me off. Anyway, if you got one of her deliveries, she ordered heavy cheese, light sauce. And when you'd get to her house, if she heard you, she'd come and stick HER THUMB IN THE PIZZA to test if they got it right, if the temperature was right, etc. Once she sent a pizza back for being too HOT. She'd send it back at least once, almost every time. She never, ever tipped. Ever. Not a cent. return to top