Delivery story 183 Grog writes: This story involves a fellow Pizza Deliverator and occurred a few summers ago in Ellensburg, a small time cow and college town. We both worked for a Papa John's franchise, but now sadly the place is sold. My buddy, known as Driver, was delivering a two-pie order to one of the dorms in his new Mitsubishi. While speaking with the customer about the money owed, he heard the bittersweet sound of metal on metal action, as in a screwdriver being used to get a car going. Driver immediately realizes what's going on and tells the customer to enjoy his now free pizza. Running back to his car, he found two punks trying to hotwire it. Before the punks could react, Driver went to the trunk, opened it and pulled out a classic Louisville Slugger baseball bat. He went to the driver-side door and pulls Punk A out of the car, threw him to the ground and hit the guy rather hard in the back. Punk A tries to get up only to be beaten down again. Punk B is now out of the car and yelling, "Stop hitting him!" Driver responds with another beatdown. Punk B says he will call the police if Driver doesn't stop to which Driver tells Punk B to do so, even offering to do it for him. He then tells Punk B that when the cops show up, Driver will be charged at most with Assault and Battery whereas Punk A would be charged with Attempted Grand Theft Auto and Punk B with Conspiracy to Commit Grand Theft Auto. Punks A and B will have a much greater time in jail than Driver. Punk A uses this time to stagger away and both run off. Driver yells as they leave that if he catches them trying the same thing again, they'll both receive far worse. Moral of this story: Don't mess with a seasoned Pizza Deliverator.