Delivery story 17 Mike Watson writes: I delivered pizza for Blackjack (small chain) in Fort Collins, Colorado for about a year and a half. I have numerous stories -- I wish I'd have known of this website then, I could have told you all of them! Fort Collins has a rather large "old town" with houses from the 1910 era -- many occupied by students but a lot of families around there as well. One night I take a delivery to an average sized house in this neighborhood, and after the guy opens the door and sees it's me, he holds his hand out and asks for the pie. I repeat his total (I never let a pie out of my hands before I see money -- saves time and frustration) and he keeps his hands held out ... waiting. So I tell him it's store policy that we can't give out the food until we have the money (I must have made up a million different "store policies" in my tenure there) and he asks me to come into the kitchen. I'm immediately suspicious. I pass his girlfriend/wife/hooker/whatever, who looks embarassed, as we walk through the living room, toward the kitchen. We get to the kitchen, and the guy has like $14 in change of varying denominations sitting on the counter. (To his credit, they were in neat little stacks.) He tells me there's my money. I laugh outloud (for reference, I wouldn't reccomend this) and tell him I can't take all that change. (see: "store policy") We argue -- his point being, "It's money -- you HAVE TO take it!" Mine, of course -- "I'm holding your pizza hostage; it's getting colder, you're getting hungrier." Eventually I tell him I'll gladly take a cash or check ... (he'd originally maintained that he didn't have any paper money or a checkbook) ... and as I'm walking out the door (still carrying his pie) he calls me back and writes a check. He didn't stiff me (I don't recall the tip amount -- which means it was probably average -- a buck or two) but as a courtesy, I told the guy that my bank counts change and will deposit it into your account, where you can withdraw paper money, and not have to unload it on the pizza guy. A little advice to pizza guys everywhere: Rule #1 : I am *always* polite about this and *everything* at the door. Bad attitudes get bad tips. If you mention any of the following things to a customer, do it politely and with a smile. Don't snarl that they're too stupid to put an address on their own house. Ask where their house numbers are. If you missed them, fess up. If they don't have any, apologize that their pizza is a little late, as you had a hard time finding their house because it didn't have any numbers. Don't release the pizza until you're paid. Ever. Even if it's some nice old lady who just has to go look for her checkbook and wants to help you with your load -- assure her you'll keep it hot for her in the insulated bag. Once you release the pizza, you release control. As long as you're holding the pizza, you can give up on them and leave. I used to gladly pick up beer, cigaretts, McDonalds fries, tampons, whatever if people would call and ask, and ALSO order pizza. My personal surcharge was 100%. McDonalds fries are $1.50, my surcharge is $1.50, total $3. Six pack of beer is $7, my surcharge is $7, that's $14. Too high? Cancel your order. It's generally not worth the surcharge anyhow. I'm doing you a favor, mostly. I am very up front about this on the phone as I hate confrontation or negotiation when I get to the door. I carried police-strength pepper spray everywhere I delevered, one on my belt, one in my car. Even today (post-delivery) I carry pepper spray in my car. You may get attacked by a dog, jumped by a human, whatever. Be prepared. When we used to get no-show deliveries, we could take the pie back to the store and eat it. I generally kept mine in the car for a few hours, until somebody would flag me down to ask if I happened to have a spare pizza. This kills two birds with one stone: (a) silences those people that think you have a full-scale pizza factory in your Geo Metro/motorcycle/whatever and (b) no-shows. I would comp the pizza to $0 at the store as a no-show and sell it to the flag-down at whatever I thought they would pay. (They will generally go higher than market price.) I did this with the approval of my manager. I wouldn't reccomend doing it under the table. I used to pay for my oil changes with pizza. I think we paid 25% of retail for pizzas, so an XL one topper carryout was like $3. Equivalant to the oil change guy, $20. Price of an oil change, $20. I got it for $3. I attempted to pay for car repair with pizzas, but found myself being this guy's "pizza $@&#!" for two months. Car repair is too expensive to pay for with pizzas. Pony up the $. ;-) If you leave your car running while you deliver, lock the doors. I used to carry no keys, but an extra alarm thingey on my belt. Keeps you from getting locked out. Keeps you from losing your car. Learn what splits your city N, E, S, and W before you ever hit the road. Know the difference between 500 East Maple and 500 West Maple. Do not drive until you do. If you have to call for directions to someone's house with a pay phone or a cell phone, and getting lost was their fault (wrong address, wrong directions, wrong numerical, whatever) and they stiff you on arrival, ask for $.50 for the phone call. I've had people give me a dollar for calling them. I've had people turn me down. I told them I'd blacklist them. I did. They don't eat pizza anymore. If someone has no (or bad) house numbers, live with it. If you could figure it out (you're looking for 2612, and you could see 2610 and 2614) then it's part of your job. If they're in the middle of nowhere, mention it. It is for their safety (for an ambulence) and their pizza. Don't make it their fault. (see rule #1) Best of luck on the road. return to top